A wedding comparison...

I was having lunch with a Ugandan friend that is preparing for her wedding. She was telling me that they have been planning for 3 ceremonies. The first is called “The Introduction” , the second is the traditional wedding that involves the whole village and the third (for them, by choice) is the church wedding.

This couple is Christian and they want to get married in a church before God and not just have the mayor sign their wedding certificate which is usually what happens at the traditional ceremony. So for them, there is this added “expense” and planning to do. At this ceremony, they will have the typical western experience of white gown, bridesmaids, etc.

The introduction ceremony is when the 2 families of the bride and groom officially meet to introduce the groom to the bride’s parents. (Usually they have met before, and this is just part of the tradition.) This is also when the dowry gets negotiated.

It was learning more about the traditional ceremony that made me feel almost sick about the way we do weddings here in America. I will never be able to watch a TLC wedding show without being a bit sickened by the importance of needing everything to be “perfect” and having to impress our guests with gourmet meals and live entertainment and on and on.

I pray that I never go to another wedding and in my mind judge it like they do on previously stated TV reality shows. Don’t we sometimes go to a wedding and maybe get bummed if it isn’t fun or if our food isn’t cooked to perfection? UGH, just typing that makes me sick. How disgustingly selfish and WHY do we sometimes tend to make it “all about us”. YUCK.

This is what I love about African culture. They GET community. They LIVE IT. In a traditional wedding in Uganda, it is not the bride and groom’s job to entertain their guests. It is the guests who contribute to the celebration. It is an HONOR to give the best you can toward the celebration. So EVERYONE in the village gives gifts that will be used for the wedding day, gifts of chickens, goats, rice, beans, etc. Did you read that last sentence where I said that the entire village, even the most poor, consider it an HONOR, not a burden to GIVE and contribute to the happy occasion.

I want this mindset. I believe it is a mindset that Jesus would smile at. The bible teaches us to be cheerful in giving. I think our African brothers and sisters have something to teach us about what that looks like.

More on Deo

There were so many conversations that happened with Deo yesterday that I dont' want to forget.

He asked me so many questions.

About my life, about my opinion on certain things, about how I know when God is calling me to something, about how to manage finances, about maintaining a healthy marriage. The list could go on and on.

When he asked me about how I knew that I was on the right path with what God wants me to be doing and all I could think of was that I just had a peace. I asked him the same question...."How do you know that you are doing waht God want's you to do?"

His response: "I know I am in God's will when I have nothing to gain. I will not get anything out of doing this thing, no glory, no benefit. That is when I feel I am doing right, when I get nothing out of it."

When he said this I literally grabbed my notebook and told him I needed to write that down. It really spoke to me. Sometimes I can get caught up in "Ministry", in "doing good" because it feels good. It feels good to have people tell me that I am so helpful, to say that I have been a blessing. I'll be honest. I like to hear that, who doesn't....but it can be a dangerous thing....it can easily turn to pride and "glory stealing". I can grab hold of glory that is not mine. It is God's.

So when Deo spoke these words, I had to ponder that. Would I still do what I do if no one ever said thank you, if no one ever acknowledged me and the time and effort that I spend?

I think I will be pondering that question for a long time.

Unrelated converstation....

I was asking Deo about the traditional wedding ceremonies here and how they negotiate the dowry and things like that. He had mentioned that he has still yet to pay the dowry that was negotiated. At the time, I did not think much of it, just thinking that, "well he is likely poor and maybe he just can't afford it". But then he was sharing that sometimes his wife will get quiet and he so desperately wants to be her friend and so he sometimes will push and ask her to share with him and to please be his friend, etc. He sometimes feels that she is so distant and that something is bothering her but she will never speak of it.

Then the converstation turned toward finances and how to budget, etc. I had no knowledge of his circumstances, but when he asked if I had any advice, I was telling him that one thing I think I see in Africa is that sometimes when God blesses someone financially, the person is not a good steward of God's blessing. They spend all that they have and then in a few weeks, they are back to being poor with no food for their children. I also explained that we are no different in the US. So many people are living above their means and spending more than they earn. It is a problem everywhere....Not just in Africa. He stared at me with wide eyes....so I felt I should apologize. I didn't mean to offend. He said, "No, you have not offended, you have just read my exact circumstances and I am in awe that you somehow knew exactly what I was going through." I said, "Clearly I had no way of knowing what you are going through, but God orchestrated this whole day and all our discussions have been such a blessing and have made me think."

He asked about how to budget and I explained that he needed to save in those times of blessing to be prepared for the times when things run dry. In your success, plan for difficulty. Then a lightbulb went off for me and I encouraged him to begin with the dowry. Set up a plan to pay off the dowry. I told him that a woman respects a man of his word and if he promised to pay this dowry and it has been many years and you have not made any effrot toward paying it back, his wife might feel that she is really not that important to him. I felt strongly that he needed to make that a priority. He was practically in tears, speechless at at the revelation. He said it makes perfect sense now and he was so grateful that I have spoken so freely with him all day and said some difficult things.

He has said that even his friends have not been so courageous to tell him that he needs to take certain steps toward fixing the relationships in his life. He so clearly WANTS Godly counsel and he is SOOOO teachable. He was asking me to come back and teach a class on budgeting and communicating with your spouse, etc. Both things, I sort of laughed at him and said, "Deo, I am not wise enough to teach those things." But he reminded me saying, "Tina, so many of us have barely made it through primary school, believe me, you have much you can teach us."

HUMBLED. BLESSED. SPEECHLESS.

Deo

Well...I ran out of minutes for my phone and so I spent the morning running around Kampala trying to find the right minutes....could not be done so had to contact Rich in Rwanda to come to my rescue and go online to load more minutes to my phone. Yes, he is my hero for today.

By the time I accomplished all this....it was lunch time. I was beginning to feel really weary and tired and homesick. I had a new driver today and I asked him to eat lunch with me because I just didn’t want to eat alone. (I had actually met him last year at a bible study I went to last year when Brock and I were here together, but he had never been my driver before.) He seemed surprised, but said ok. We had a great chat over lunch and I learned a lot about his life. His story is amazing. This was the highlight of my day and so I will try to tell his story and do it justice. By the way, I asked his permission to share this publicly and he said it would be his honor for me to use his story to show others the power of Jesus.

It is a difficult one to hear, but hang in there. It has a good ending.

When he was young, maybe 17 he got a girl pregnant. He did not really love her and viewed the situation as an injustice and he denied paternity and rejected the mom, etc. His father told him that he had better take responsibility for this child or they would not support him and he risked becoming an outcast. So he reluctantly stayed with the mom, but never married her. He admits he was a terrible father and husband. He was mean, abusive both physically and mentally to both the mom and his son. He was unfaithful. He was just. plain. awful.

He thought he was in love with some other girl and so he kept changing lives for a few years. He would be with one woman and then change his mind and seek after the other. He did not bond with his son at all. He ended up having a second child with this woman. He was still not being faithful and wasn’t sure if he should be with her or the other woman he was in a relationship with.

One day he was introduced to someone that could change everything. Jesus. He had been building a relationship with a local pastor who had been encouraging him and reaching out to him. He accepted Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior and his heart changed. He was different. He knew he had to choose between these women in his life. He chose the mother of his children after praying and seeking God. He finally asked her to marry him. She said yes.

It wasn’t an overnight drastic romantic love story. There was still lots of baggage and pain to overcome. But Deo knew that with Jesus, he could become the man he knew God was calling him to be to his wife and kids.

He tried so hard to become his wife’s friend, to be a better man. She was not a believer in Jesus. She did not understand. Until one day, months late, she realized that this Jesus must be real because this is NOT the man she knew. He IS changed, different, better. She decided that if Jesus could heal and change his heart, that he could do the same for her. She too accepted Jesus into her life. Little did Deo know it at the time, but through this, Jesus saved him twice. His wife, after receiving Jesus had told him that seh needed his forgiveness for something. He said, "For what?" She said, "I need to know that you will be able to forgive me before I can even tell you." He assured her that his forgiveness is certain. She then admitted that she was planning to kill him. She came to the decision one night after he had come home drunk and was awful to her and finally fell asleep, she had decided, while looking at him sleeping, that she was going to kill him. She thougth about cutting him into pieces, but she didn't think she could do it, so she decided poison woudl be a better way. She was saving some money to buy poison. But then he started being nice and behaving differently. So she held off and then his testimony, his changed life made her want Jesus too. AH-MAZING!

Is everything perfect? No. Is their marriage perfect? No. Is their relationship with their kids perfect? No.

BUT.....they DO know that they are on a road to victory. They KNOW that they can do all things through Christ who strengthens them.

Is Deo a Godly man, even though he did some horrible, awful things? I believe that he is. He is forgiven. He is redeemed. He is given a new life.

Deo is working hard to keep his son in a boarding school. Therefore he only gets to see him once every 3 months. He had just visited him the other day and I asked how his relationship was with his son, now that he was different. He just looked at me and said, I think he doesn’t really know that I have changed. I asked Deo if he had ever asked his son for forgiveness for the way he treated him and his mom when he was young. He was so tender and humble and said, “You know, I have not. Do you think I should?”

I said, “Deo, your boy has barely seen you and the change that has happened in your life if he had been at school these past few years. He is likely still remembering you as the very stern, abusive father that you were all those years. I think he needs you to look him in the eye and tell him that you are sorry. That you were wrong. That you are not the same man, and ask for his forgiveness”

Deo just hung his head and told me that He knows I am right. He has unfortunately listened to cultural beliefs that minimize the worth of a child and that he is a man and does not need the approval of his child, but that he knows now, that the strain in their relationship needs to be dealt with and it has to start with him.

I am excited for the redemptive story that I see happening in this family. It is a beautiful picture of how God can make beauty from ashes.

A weekend I won't soon forget!

(skipping Friday here as it really wasn’t super exciting....mostly disappointing as the one important meeting I had scheduled ended up being a no show. Boo...so the only exciting thing that happened Friday was the just the flight to get me from Rwanda to Uganda)

Woke up and went outside to my hut where I like to read my bible and get strength for the day ahead.

Then I met one of the families that I have journeyed with on their road to adoption.

We had breakfast together and then we started to journey to the village where their boy was located.

I played videographer for them and it was fun to see a family being born.

I visited another home in the area to deliver some supplies that I knew they needed and then acted as gopher for my family, running errands so that they could just hang out with their little guy and rest from their long journey the night before.

Then I sat and chatted a while with another director of a children’s home.

We started the journey back toward Kampala very late in the evening so I did not get to sleep till very late. Mainly because I was waiting for the water in my room to come back on...there was a problem with the plumbing in my room and I was so very dirty, you can’t imagine the dust and dirt that I had to just sleep in because it was so late and I didn’t want to disturb the staff here at the guesthouse.....so I slept in my filth and woke up the next morning and realized that I still had no water. I had to be ready fairly soon so I grabbed my water bottles and my towel and did the best I could to bathe myself with about 12 ounces of water for the day ahead.

Had breakfast with another family that had arrived late Sat night. Then went with them to play photographer for their family’s moment of seeing their soon-to-be child.

Had a meeting with another friend at Cafe Java (yum) and later was invited to dinner with the family I spent the morning with. It was so fun to connect IN PERSON with people that I have talked to and emailed a million times. But to get the opportunity to hug them and sit across from them and share our lives. Priceless. =)

PS. I know you would love to see pics of these moments, but those are not mine to share. sorry.

Thursday

Started my day off sitting in on the devotional time with the women of ABC. Then finally had some time to sit and visit with Rich and Robin for a bit before I had to head out. I’ve been on the go since I arrived and have barely seen them so it was nice to slow down for those 2 hours.

My plan was to go back to HOH this morning and show them more photos of some of the recently adopted kiddos as they had requested, but then I remembered that Thursday is their day or prayer so today is not a good day for that. So instead I went to the market in Kimironko to get some more beaded necklaces and a few things for a friend.

I met with Peter (and Ruth and Dear Klein) and Fidele for lunch at Bourbon Cafe. It was so good to catch up and at one point we all sat there amazed at how my little JP Mugisha started all this. JP was Fidele’s first international adoption and Peter’s first case to act as POA. We marveled at the ripple effect from that and it still makes me cray just thinking about it. My little Mugisha has been a blessing in so many ways to so many people and he doesn’t even know it and neither do they. Only God can create that kind of beautiful story.

From there I went to the Nu-Vision office to meet with a few more students.

I was able to see Aloys, my boy, he is growing so tall and his english is excellent and he looked so smart and handsome. He is an excellent student, doing so well. He wants to be an engineer. His family is doing well also. His father is deceased, but his mom knows the importance of his education and encourages him in his studies along with his siblings.

Next I met, Emmanuel, he is the sponsor child of my best friend and it was a treat to get to meet him and give him gifts from their family. I asked to meet him because he has just taken his senior 6 exams and I wanted to learn what his future plans are now that he is done with High school. He had just gotten his results from the exam and he was happy to show me his marks. He did amazing! We are now waiting to see if he will get a government scholarship to attend university, so he is applying for a job and the MTN call center and researching which university to attend. He wants to study international trade. I asked him what he would do if he did not get a government scholarship and his sponsors could not continue any support at all towards university expenses. He said that he was very motivated and would work and save money until he could afford the fees for that first year. He also loves to “train” himself. By this he meant physical exercise. He likes to run and play basketball. He told me about his family and how they are so loving and caring for each other. His mom is an usher at church and the funny part, was when I asked what the dad did for a living, he said, “I don’t know, my dad doesn’t have a stable job, he just does any odd thing to provide for us. It is never the same.” It is clear to me that his dad has done well to show his son what it looks like to work hard and persevere no matter what. I have no doubts that this young man is going to be a big success story from our program. =)

Here he is in his new shirt from his sponsor family.

Next I talked to Miriam, she too has graduated and has been taking computer classes adn trying to find work to begin registering for college. Miriam is so sweet and she helped me communicate with the 2 twin girls that came to the office that day. Miriam loves to sing in the church choir and she looks forward to the choir practices 2 xs per week. She wants to study business management or marketing. She is well spoken and easy to talk to.

The next conversation was a bit harder, only because the girls did not speak english much at all so we needed Miriam to translate, but also hard because I had to find out why these girls were performing so poorly on their report cards the past few terms.

They responded that they admit they were being careless and not spending as much time on their studies as they should, but they also said that the were attending a really poor school and they changed schools in January and since then they have been trying to do better. They like the new school much better. Their report cards come out soon and I told them “momma Tina” wanted to see those reports. So we will see. There are 4 boys and 4 girls in this family and dad is deceased. Most of the time, mom is not home as she is looking for food, so mom does not encourage the girls with their studies. partly because mom was poorly educated herself, so the kids are really on their own....no one to help them with their homework when things are confusing for them.

I ended the night at Sole Luna, just me and Robin, sitting for hours just talking and catching up. It was the best way to spend my last night in Rwanda!

Opportunity of a lifetime!

So it is about 5pm on Wednesday evening and we are dog tired from all the travelling around, but, I was telling Harriet that at our recent event we had 2 families sign on to commit to a child. I told her the names of one of the boys and she shrieked with joy because this father is a gospel worker and they are very poor. And in fact they only live about 1/2 hour outside of Kigali. I asked if we could go there to tell the family that we have a sponsor for him and so that I could capture it on video. She agreed knowing that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity for me.....to be there when a family learns that help in on the way. =)

So we arrive only to find only the mom at home with all the other kids, but not the boy we hoped to see and the dad was out on the field somewhere... So it was disappointing, but we were able to share the good news with mom and ohter siblings (some are in school, some are not). While I was imagining some big display of gratitude, she was very reserved and quiet and yet her eyes lit up and she quietly giggled. I had forgotten that Rwandan women are typically quiet and not at all demonstrative (like me). I remembered to look in her eyes. Her body may not have been jumping up and down, but her eyes were dancing!

Mom with 6 of her children

That was by far the most exhausting day I have had in a long time, but it was so worth it. I think everywhere we went there was some disappointment......but in the end it was indeed a long, but wonderful day.

Heartbreak

OK so post number 3 from Wednesday up next.....

We left Masaka and headed to another school with our top priority of the day, to check on one young girl who has been struggling. In recent months, we learned that her father passed away. Since that time she has struggled in school and her attendance has also been affected. In talking with her she was telling me that she gets headaches and stomach aches a lot. She said she has been to the doctor, but they find nothing wrong with her. I asked when these problems started and she mentioned that it was a few months ago (around the same time as the loss of her father).

In Rwanda children take national exams at the end of every "form" (3 years) At the end of the primary level (P6), the national exam determines what Division of school you are assigned. The school you go to depends on the how you perform.

This girl is at a good school. You must perform well to go here. So, we know she has the potential, I believe it is just the trauma from losing her father that is giving her such stress. Add to this that she is a boarding student (a very good thing) at this school and on days when she does not feel well, she goes to stay with her aunt. Her mother lives very far from the school and she only sees her mother a few times a year. Her mom is also sick. Her sister recently lost a sponsor for her education and had to go back home to mom. She was at a different school anyway, so they did not see each other often, but now she is missing them so much. In all this girl has 4 brothers and 3 sisters. All are living with relatives at different schools. The aunt would be happy to let her visit the mom, but there is no money for the transport to do so.

This girl is the most well-spoken child I met today. She was polite and kind and very open and transparent about her life and her hopes, her dreams, and her struggles. She loves to study the sciences ( biology, chemistry, and physics). She hopes to be a pilot somedayand she is in a dance troop that performs traditional dances at churches in the area. She also enjoys playing soccer with friends. Her teachers have said that she just needs to put forth a little more effort. They say that she seems tired in class.

I asked her about this and she told me that at night especially she lays and thinks about all the kind things her father used to tell her. She said that she was his favorite because she really respected her father and therefore they had a great relationship and at night she can almost hear him talking to her telling her nice things. So she doesn't sleep well and then in class, she struggles sometimes "in her mind" to focus on the lessons because she is still often thinking about her dad and missing her mom. She then continued to tell me more about her father and how he would dance with her and make her feel so special. Break. My. Heart.

We asked the headmaster if I could see the dorms where the girls sleep (I was really just super curious) and they said that was ok. So we walked across the campus. BTW...very nicely lanscaped and clean. There are 8 dorms for girls and 6 dorms for boys. This girls dorm held 52 girls. Just picture a long rectangular room with bunk beds all lined up with crates on the end. Looked very much like a military barracks. Here are some pics (yay...Uganda internet is a bit faster so I can get pics uploaded!)

The path leading to the girls dorm

This sweet girl's bed.

I aksed our partner at Nu-Vision ministry how much it would cost to send this girl home to visit her mom and it wasn't much so I left her money to go see her mom over the upcoming school break. Before I left I prayed over her that she would find peace, that her Heavenly father would give her mind and body rest. I pray that she will have more peace when she returns so she can do well and make her daddy proud, even if from heaven.

Part 2

So we left the Eastern Province to make our way back toward Kigali. We were headed to the Masaka school which is on the outskirts of Kigali to visit a few more students.

I should say that the purpose of these visits was to meet with the struggling students. Not all student in the program are having this kind of trouble, but there were a few children and families that we felt needed some extra encouragement and intervention. Some may read this and think that the money being used for sponsorship on these children is a waste, if they are not in school every day and performing with high marks. But when your father is already dead and you are watching your mom die too and if you go to school and the cow gets lost and there is noone to fetch water, it becomes a matter of survival. These children are not "skipping school" becuase they don't want to be there. They sit and tell me with tears in their eyes how much they love studying and how they wish they could be boarding students (but that is extra money, so they cannot). They are torn and dealing with more than you or I can imagine. There is ZERO income for some of these homes. ZERO. So if mom is too sick to watch the cow and dig in the garden. Someone HAS to do it so they can merely survive. I am already thinking and praying about how we can help the young girl I told you about yesterday this next term. I want her to board. Her teachers all think that this would be the best thing for her. I will keep you posted on that.

Ok, back to Masaka. We arrive to this school and find the children had already gone home. This school is not a government school, which means there are many students and so they operate in sessions. There is a morning session and an afternoon session. These students we wanted to see were in the morning session and they were supposed to stay after to meet with us, but they had gone home. Fortunately, we had gotten a hold of mom and she was able to send them back, so we waited for them to arrive. While we waited, the teachers all spoke candidly about these students and their situation. The 2 boys are extremely bright and do very well in school, however, their attendance is also not consistent. The girl is an average student. One boy and one girl say they want to be doctors when they grow up and the other boy wants to be a banker. The teachers were clearly frustrated with the lack of care at home for these children. They come to school filthy dirty and that is not acceptable. The problem here is that they are old enough to be washing themselves, if mom would just enforce and remind them. Mom has not been helping to discipline these children, so I had a talk with them about reaching their dreams. I explained that they are so smart and that their teachers have told me how capable they are and how we all believe that they can reach that dream, but becoming a doctor or a banker takes discipline and they need to start practicing discipline NOW starting with their hygeine. I told them, starting today, they needed to go home and wash their uniform and lay it out to dry and in the morning, before getting dressed they needed to clean themselves from head to toe, brush their teeth and get to school on time. Please pray for them. They have such potential and yet mom is not really helping them reach it so it is up to their own motivation. They can rise above this situation, this poverty they are living in. Look at these precious children. Just beautiful!

As we were leaving the school, the second session was letting out for the day and the kids just swarmed to greet me. I love this part about being a "muzungu" (white person) in Africa, the children just run with big smiles to greet you. I got the most amazing video of about 100 kids reciting "good morning, good morning, good morning" over and over and then they switched to "good afternoon, good afternoon, good afternoon" They were so proud of their new english vocabulary and thrilled at the opportunity to use it on someone that could appreciate it.

To be continued.....

The long, disappointing, wonderful day!

10.5 hours driving around Rwanda visiting students and schools sure can wear a girl out! (that is the long part)

The day started at 8 am. Harriet picked me up and we headed to the Eastern province to visit the students at Shining Star Primary School. The main purpose was to meet with a brother and sister that has been struggling in the program to keep their grades up. We wanted to learn from them and their teachers what the problems were. When we arrived at the school we learned that there was some miscommunication and the students were not there as they had just taken exams and students had the day off while teachers graded the exams. (Disappointing) So we met with the teachers and learned that both students are struggling so much because the father had died of AIDS several years ago and the mother is also sick with AIDS. She almost died about a year ago, but miraculously recovered, but she still falls very ill often. When mom falls ill, the children must take care of her and the household duties.

Here is a picture of one of the classrooms

One of the teachers offered to come with us to help us locate them. He thought he knew the village where they lived. So off we went.

Here I am with the team of teachers.

As we got close....we stopped about 4 different times asking the locals if they could direct us to the home of these students. We finally found the right home. Enjoy the pics.... thier home is actually quite nice since the dad was able to provide for his family when he was alive, but since his death, with the mom's very poor health, the family has no income, so they grow their food and take good care of their cow.

This is the view from the back of the home

The father's gravesight, right in the back yard.

The kitchen

When we arrived the students were not there, nor was the mom. They were all out in the field, but a neighbor went to go tell them they had visitors. The mom and girl came to greet us. After some pleasantries......I wanted to get a sense of a typical school day for these children, would you like to go there with me? No? Too bad.

4:30 am time to wake up and get dressed and ready for school, usually not enough time or money to eat breakfast
5:00 start walking (it takes over an hour to get to their school if walking and so they are often late)
6:00 school begins (yes classes start at 6am!)
break for lunch (provided by school)
5:00 start walking home
sometime after 6, arrive home and fetch water and firewood (if mom was unable) cook(if mom is not well enough) and clean dishes and house
8:00 go to sleep

This girl’s favorite subject is social studies and she likes to play soccer and handball.

Her teachers complain that she is such a promising student, but she fails to come to school consistently. They wish that she could be a boarding student so that they can pour into her these last few months before she takes the senior 6 exams. These are very important exams. If a child does very well, they receive government scholarships for university.

For students that board at the school, they only see their parents once a month, if their parents come to the school for a visit. Otherwise they only go home once every 3 months. When I asked mom if she would want her daughter to board at the school, she said, “yes, although it would make it very hard on me, I know it would be better for her to be there.” I then asked this young woman if she had enough money for boarding, would she want to live there and she said, yes, she would like that very much.

Picture Break...

Just a super cute photo of some neighborhood children that came and sat with us while we waited for the family to arrive from the field.

The brother was out in the field keeping watch of the family’s cow. We had been waiting for someone to find him for us, but this never happened and it was getting late so we decided to go and hope to see him on the road to our next destination. We DID (wonderful). He is described by his teachers as very shy and quiet. But when asked a question, he will give the answer. He struggles in math, but with more regular attendance he could improve. When I asked him why he thought he was doing poorly in school, he said that he has no time at night to go through his lessons and that he wished he could board so he had more time to study. He dreams of being an engineer someday.

I asked him if he had a message for his sponsor and he said, “I want them to know that just knowing that I can go to school when my mom is ok gives me such hope that someday I will be able to graduate and have a good future. He is so grateful and without this opportunity, he does not know what he would be doing now.”

to be continued......( reflecting on 10 hours is getting kinda long, I’ll post the next school visit soon) I'm so bummed, I have so many great pics from today, but the upload is taking FOREVER...I can't get it to work. sorry. =(

Day 1

I guess I should start by telling you that the second leg of my journey was not nearly as awkward as the first.....but I was a little nervous to learn that the guy I sat next to was also from the same European country! But he allowed me to read my book in peace.

Oh yeah, for those of you not on Facebook...you may not have heard the 2 things that I forgot to add to my post below is that my entertainment screen didn't work on that first flight and my European friend ate off my plate at each meal we were served. YUP...he ate off my plate. There were other weird things too.....but I will not beat a dead horse....you got the gist...it was a really awkward EIGHT HOURS!

OK now for today...

Nothing starts the day off better in Rwanda than an ABC bagel! =)

After my bagel I met a new friend for coffee. So nice to meet in person and share our hearts.

Also got to meet another friend face to face. We have been sharing our hearts for orphans over the past year via phone and email. It was so nice to see his smile in person, and how fitting for us to meet in Africa!

Then I surprised an old friend at work. We talked for a bit and then I went to the market to buy some rice, beans and bananas for Home of Hope (the orphanage where we adopted our JP).

Before heading to the orphanage I went to the office of the New Commission for Children which is in charge of all adoption files. I was able to hand deliver some post placement reports and share some recent photos of some of the children that are now home with families loving on them. I also brought video of my JP to show them. They really appreciate getting updates from families. All too often people adopt, go home and never send updates on the children. I can’t stress enough how important it is to honor the country you adopt from and send updates on how the child(ren) are doing.

After leaving this meeting I went to Home of Hope and showed off my video once again. There is only 1 nun left at the orphanage that was there in 2007 when we adopted JP and so she sat with me and watched my short little video and thanked me for coming back to show her. We got to chatting and at some point she brought out the log that they keep of all the children that have been adopted out. I was able to go back and find where our names were in that log and then I was able to point out all the other families that I had helped since then. She seemed so happy to hear how the children were doing. They got excited to learn that Prince and Obama now have a baby brother, and that little Pierre is happy and still chubby! They cooed seeing the picture I had with me of little Shakila and said....”ohhhh she was always so tiny....she looks so happy...look at her clapping her hands.” They were thrilled to see that Evariste with his cousin who was also adopted from HOH. And when they saw pictures of Honorine and Benjamin, they remarked, “oh my they grow up so fast.”

I was grateful for the nun who was there in 2007 to take a picture with me so that my JP can see one of the ladies who took care of him before mommy came to get him. He has been asking questions every once in a while and our adoption was such a crazy time and there was a sickness in the baby room so we never even went inside to get photos of his crib or anything like that, so I really wanted to get some pictures for my boy to have. The rooms are all different now and rearranged from when I was there.

By this time it was close to 5pm so I headed back to Rich and Robins for the night. It was nice to visit with them for the evening and just relax. My flight arrived about an hour later than expected last night and I wasn’t tired right away so I didn’t get a ton of sleep last night so I’m pretty pooped now. Gonna try to call the family and get to bed.

First Leg

Wow.

First leg of the journey is done as I sit at the Amsterdam airport and reflect on the past 9 hours.

My goodness.

I arrived at Logan around 5:30 and thought I would be able to check in get a decent meal and sit and read while I waited for my flight to start boarding. So I stood staring at the Fuddruckers sign and debated over a big, fat burger or a healthy salad. For some crazy reason, I picked the healthy option! Got myself a salad and went to sit down...which was quite a task as I carried a backpack that I swear must weigh more than me, pulled my carryon, carried a book, my salad and soda. I’m still not sure how I even managed to grab a knife, fork and straw, but I soon found myself eyeing a spot at the closest table.

The only problem was that I didn’t seem to realize that another gal was sizing up that table too and when I finally realized it I was half sitting so I just said, “I’m sorry, are you with someone? Do you mind if I sit here?” She said, “No problem,” so I started opening my salad. But then her travel companion came to join her and we all sat in this awkward silence. Oh my word. It was so funny, I didn’t quite know what to do. I could tell that they felt awkward and were probably wondering what the heck I was doing, so before I burst out laughing at myself, I decided to pack up my dinner and just bring it to the gate and eat there. I’m sure they had a good laugh at my expense once I left. Oh dear.

So I somehow managed to get all my above stated items safely to my gate without spilling anything and sat down to start again on my dinner. Only then they start calling certain travelers up to the gate. My name gets called. I now have to pack up my dinner yet again and try not to spill my food or drink and I make my way over to the desk so they can verify my passport. ok. good, I’m done. I turn around to go find my seat in the corner a few seats away from all other because I am eating my salad with blue cheese dressing and I’m thinking that someone might not appreciate that smell, but of course when I turn around someone has taken my seat. Bumor. So now I wedge myself between two businessmen and just sip my soda resigned to just eating on the plane thinking “too bad if the people next to me don’t like the smell of my blue cheese dressing.” (Can you tell, I’m hungry, tired and maybe losing my sense of humor?)

I wait a bit longer and can’t stand it so I start eating and finish my meal before boarding. Good to go. I’m thinking to myself, “OK, glad that part is over. Now to just sit in the quiet and read my book. ahhhh”.

I should have known better.

I end up sitting next to someone almost as chatty as JP. Add to that, he insisted on guessing my age....and he guessed 5 years older than I am, kept making sexual references throughout the entire flight and even asked me for a kiss at one point. I mean... really? Who does that? He was European and I’d like to think that it was just a cultural thing...but after the third or fourth sexual comment I’m thinking he was serious and so I politely said, “I will not kiss you, not even on the cheek, I am a loyal wife and I love my husband very much.” Jeepers. You would have thought this guy would have got the hint that I was not amused, but he did not. I kept just trying to read and he just kept trying to flirt. My word. Am I that irresistible? Haha.

I really was trying hard to figure out why God placed me next to this man, was he searching? Looking for something more meaningful? Each attempt at conversation always led back to something sexual. So I gave up trying to wonder if there was some greater purpose in this and just began to see it as an opportunity to pray for patience. Hopefully the next leg of the journey will be a little less “interesting”!

Sentimental Meatballs!

I can hardly believe that I am sitting in my living room at 3:15 pm and it is quiet and I am finished cooking meals for my family during the 12 days I will be in Africa.

Meatballs

Tacos

Sloppy Joes

french toast

pot roast

hamburgers

pancakes......CHECK

I’m not sure how this happened, that I am alone and (sort of) finished with most my chores for the day...but I am glad to have a moment before the craziness of the next 3 days begins.

Tomorrow will include 1 cleaning job, 1 trip to the bank, 1 or 5 hours(just kidding) of baking for the Awesome 80’s Party, and 1 final family dinner before I leave on Sunday evening.

Saturday will be a whirlwind as we head to the church early to get set up for the Awesome 80s Fundraising event for Mugisha.

Sunday morning I will spend with my family and pack. (Yes, I am a bit of a last minute packer). My flight leaves Sunday evening from Boston. And I will arrive in Kigali exactly 24 hours later on Monday evening. =) Here is my pile of stuff that needs to be packed and there is much more that I still haven't gotten together yet...

What strikes me most as I sit in this “quiet before the chaos” is how very fortunate I am to have the family I have.

First of all, I was blessed at birth with the parents God so wisely chose for me; firm yet loving, wise and generous, kind and affectionate. My brother is one of the most patient, loving dads I know. And my sister is one of those people that would do anything for you and my kids think they are so much fun.

My husband is unlike any man I know. He has a quiet strength and is the one person who can always make me laugh, no matter how “serious” I may feel. He gives and gives everyday to make my job as a mom and wife easier as I try to balance home, work and the ministry. I’m not sure what he has gotten out of this deal called our marriage, but I know that he is MINE and I am HIS forever.

My children, my heart. They are all so amazing in their own ways. They are each unique and yet one of the things I love about them most is what they share. They share a warmth about them, they share a love for their family, they are all hard-working and quick to forgive.

My “in-laws”, the parents and the sister (and brother) have loved and accepted me from day 1 when Brock and I were just friends for 2 years! =) Looking back after 19 years of marriage it is sort of funny how both sets of parents cheered us on when we didn’t even like each other “that way”. Makes me laugh.....I guess sometimes our parents can see things with a different lens. =) But anyway...my in-laws are “all hands on deck” kind of people. If one of us has a project or a goal...they will do anything and everything to help make it happen. Love that.

My friends...man...I have good friends that really love me no matter what. Friends that will do ANYTHING for me ANYTIME, ANY DAY. All I have to do is ask. I wish everybody could have friends like this, but I can’t imagine that many awesome people are really out there. (and I’m really not willing to share mine, sorry, just being real).

Ministry partners. I’ve got a pretty great bunch of people on board and I definitely could not run Mugisha Ministries without them. They are wise and kind and they always have my back and keep me grounded while daring me to dream big. =)

So while I’m not sure how or why all that spilled out during these quiet moments, but I may as well make this my first official post as I begin my 5th journey to Africa. =)

Stay tuned there is more to share about my journey...but it probably won’t get posted until Monday evening when I arrive in Kigali, Rwanda....land of a thousand hills and one of my favorite places on earth.