A wedding comparison...

I was having lunch with a Ugandan friend that is preparing for her wedding. She was telling me that they have been planning for 3 ceremonies. The first is called “The Introduction” , the second is the traditional wedding that involves the whole village and the third (for them, by choice) is the church wedding.

This couple is Christian and they want to get married in a church before God and not just have the mayor sign their wedding certificate which is usually what happens at the traditional ceremony. So for them, there is this added “expense” and planning to do. At this ceremony, they will have the typical western experience of white gown, bridesmaids, etc.

The introduction ceremony is when the 2 families of the bride and groom officially meet to introduce the groom to the bride’s parents. (Usually they have met before, and this is just part of the tradition.) This is also when the dowry gets negotiated.

It was learning more about the traditional ceremony that made me feel almost sick about the way we do weddings here in America. I will never be able to watch a TLC wedding show without being a bit sickened by the importance of needing everything to be “perfect” and having to impress our guests with gourmet meals and live entertainment and on and on.

I pray that I never go to another wedding and in my mind judge it like they do on previously stated TV reality shows. Don’t we sometimes go to a wedding and maybe get bummed if it isn’t fun or if our food isn’t cooked to perfection? UGH, just typing that makes me sick. How disgustingly selfish and WHY do we sometimes tend to make it “all about us”. YUCK.

This is what I love about African culture. They GET community. They LIVE IT. In a traditional wedding in Uganda, it is not the bride and groom’s job to entertain their guests. It is the guests who contribute to the celebration. It is an HONOR to give the best you can toward the celebration. So EVERYONE in the village gives gifts that will be used for the wedding day, gifts of chickens, goats, rice, beans, etc. Did you read that last sentence where I said that the entire village, even the most poor, consider it an HONOR, not a burden to GIVE and contribute to the happy occasion.

I want this mindset. I believe it is a mindset that Jesus would smile at. The bible teaches us to be cheerful in giving. I think our African brothers and sisters have something to teach us about what that looks like.