Deo

Well...I ran out of minutes for my phone and so I spent the morning running around Kampala trying to find the right minutes....could not be done so had to contact Rich in Rwanda to come to my rescue and go online to load more minutes to my phone. Yes, he is my hero for today.

By the time I accomplished all this....it was lunch time. I was beginning to feel really weary and tired and homesick. I had a new driver today and I asked him to eat lunch with me because I just didn’t want to eat alone. (I had actually met him last year at a bible study I went to last year when Brock and I were here together, but he had never been my driver before.) He seemed surprised, but said ok. We had a great chat over lunch and I learned a lot about his life. His story is amazing. This was the highlight of my day and so I will try to tell his story and do it justice. By the way, I asked his permission to share this publicly and he said it would be his honor for me to use his story to show others the power of Jesus.

It is a difficult one to hear, but hang in there. It has a good ending.

When he was young, maybe 17 he got a girl pregnant. He did not really love her and viewed the situation as an injustice and he denied paternity and rejected the mom, etc. His father told him that he had better take responsibility for this child or they would not support him and he risked becoming an outcast. So he reluctantly stayed with the mom, but never married her. He admits he was a terrible father and husband. He was mean, abusive both physically and mentally to both the mom and his son. He was unfaithful. He was just. plain. awful.

He thought he was in love with some other girl and so he kept changing lives for a few years. He would be with one woman and then change his mind and seek after the other. He did not bond with his son at all. He ended up having a second child with this woman. He was still not being faithful and wasn’t sure if he should be with her or the other woman he was in a relationship with.

One day he was introduced to someone that could change everything. Jesus. He had been building a relationship with a local pastor who had been encouraging him and reaching out to him. He accepted Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior and his heart changed. He was different. He knew he had to choose between these women in his life. He chose the mother of his children after praying and seeking God. He finally asked her to marry him. She said yes.

It wasn’t an overnight drastic romantic love story. There was still lots of baggage and pain to overcome. But Deo knew that with Jesus, he could become the man he knew God was calling him to be to his wife and kids.

He tried so hard to become his wife’s friend, to be a better man. She was not a believer in Jesus. She did not understand. Until one day, months late, she realized that this Jesus must be real because this is NOT the man she knew. He IS changed, different, better. She decided that if Jesus could heal and change his heart, that he could do the same for her. She too accepted Jesus into her life. Little did Deo know it at the time, but through this, Jesus saved him twice. His wife, after receiving Jesus had told him that seh needed his forgiveness for something. He said, "For what?" She said, "I need to know that you will be able to forgive me before I can even tell you." He assured her that his forgiveness is certain. She then admitted that she was planning to kill him. She came to the decision one night after he had come home drunk and was awful to her and finally fell asleep, she had decided, while looking at him sleeping, that she was going to kill him. She thougth about cutting him into pieces, but she didn't think she could do it, so she decided poison woudl be a better way. She was saving some money to buy poison. But then he started being nice and behaving differently. So she held off and then his testimony, his changed life made her want Jesus too. AH-MAZING!

Is everything perfect? No. Is their marriage perfect? No. Is their relationship with their kids perfect? No.

BUT.....they DO know that they are on a road to victory. They KNOW that they can do all things through Christ who strengthens them.

Is Deo a Godly man, even though he did some horrible, awful things? I believe that he is. He is forgiven. He is redeemed. He is given a new life.

Deo is working hard to keep his son in a boarding school. Therefore he only gets to see him once every 3 months. He had just visited him the other day and I asked how his relationship was with his son, now that he was different. He just looked at me and said, I think he doesn’t really know that I have changed. I asked Deo if he had ever asked his son for forgiveness for the way he treated him and his mom when he was young. He was so tender and humble and said, “You know, I have not. Do you think I should?”

I said, “Deo, your boy has barely seen you and the change that has happened in your life if he had been at school these past few years. He is likely still remembering you as the very stern, abusive father that you were all those years. I think he needs you to look him in the eye and tell him that you are sorry. That you were wrong. That you are not the same man, and ask for his forgiveness”

Deo just hung his head and told me that He knows I am right. He has unfortunately listened to cultural beliefs that minimize the worth of a child and that he is a man and does not need the approval of his child, but that he knows now, that the strain in their relationship needs to be dealt with and it has to start with him.

I am excited for the redemptive story that I see happening in this family. It is a beautiful picture of how God can make beauty from ashes.